Wonder

  I wonder why my sisters seem to be so aggressive to have quarrels all the time. The elder is 14 while the younger is 12. I did not actually know what had happened between them. They are just behaving like a pair of couple having quarrels and making up continually and repeatedly. I was also told by my aunt. I was not clear and had forgotten what was my response at the time that I was informed about this troublesome stuff.

  Got startled and looked miserably stiff and stern?
  Was in a state of heaven-peace?
  Acting as though I did not give a fuck about it?

  I thought they are mature enough. But I was totally wrong. I might have neglected them for a long period. I thought my aunt was able to handle it. I thought my sisters will satisfy to have a home to stay after the tragedy of parental divorce. I thought they will be happy to be "compensated" in that way. Physically and materially. (sis, staying in relative's house is better than staying in an orphanage).

  I wonder is there any theory to state that the youngsters must be disobedient when they reach the so-called "age of rebellion"? Is it my problem that I did not guard them properly? Do they lack of some psychological consolations that I have overlooked? And what should I do next? I have tried to explain the facts like a SAINT but their continual quarrels are making me to feel as if I were going to FAINT.

  I told my dearest mum. About what aunt said and certain situations she depicted. About what another aunt (spouse of maternal uncle) described about my sisters while they were at her house. About complaints by neighbours of their crackling loudness and pitches. I told my mum all that in the hope that she can advise my sisters although I did not intend to make her worry as I know we three are both grown up. We should be leading our own lives. That is why I wonder what for they quarreled seperti anjing dengan kucing?
 
  I wonder why they are so likely to have quarrels all the time and it is all about some stupid negligible tiny matters. Why can't they just try to compromise? Anyway, I did not tell my mum what I am feeling. What is suffocating me. What I am wondering. I do not want to burden her irritation. She had had enough because she was stuck by him for years. He-who-has-insulted-LOVE. He-who-painted-himself-as-some-kind-of-romantic-hero. I might be sympathized with but she seems more sympathetic and pathetic.

  I would pray to live a better brand new day. With less quarrels. With less trouble.

  Just take it easy! Am I right?

     不完美的真实只要正视，同样也会很可爱。

  随遇而安是种境界，把爱净化是种慈悲。