Thursday 16 July 2009

Crave for her

I was walking alone along the straight sun-lit street.
I saw her car when I was heading towards my hostel after dismissal of classes.
Little yellow-whitish kelisa that I used to sit in it once upon a time.
I was surrounded by excitement seeing the familiar numbers appeared in front of me.
My mind was so excited to make a response to my hand
It transmitted messages to my left hand to pick up my mobile phone in my pocket.

I intended to send her a message but
Blankness filled my mind all of a sudden.
Question marks with unknown answers filled my mind, so harshly.
What should I say?
"hey, coming back to visit me is it?"
like this?

Will she entertain my message if I greet her?
I had sent one message at the beginning of new semester.
What I got was nothing.
No reply. No news.
I scared of confronting her.
I scared of awkwardness will freeze in the cool air which makes me hardly breathe.
I hope that it just to be nice if I could try.

Then, will she think that I am making an insult towards her?
Frankly
I miss her as if I am going to suicide when I cannot reach her.
That's sufficient for me to see her face everyday even it's just once.
I got no choice but to hide my feelings away from you.
I was refrained from involving in AMOUR.

**I have seen too much defective examples that's why I am not confident or faith to be in LOVE and I still remember what my mum told my dad that day**

"Please don't go and harm others' daughter IF you are still born in guy for next generation. I am already a victim in this generation."

Voices and chaotic noises came across my mind at once.

Seriously I think I am ineligible to make a match couple with you.
We are from different backgrounds or even worlds.
we are TWO
we are TWO
when will we be ONE?

I am writing this post to remind myself. Maybe time will prove.

Perseverance VS Termination


I chose the former.
Wish me luck.
Regards.

2 comments:

  1. sifu zhai..i bless for u...i trust simou will be appear soon....love god will always with u.......Gambateh!!!sifuzhai...if have chance go out together ya....miss u...dun worry lo...i not a gay...and i hate gay also...haha

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  2. choon teik.
    victims are different.
    everyone is eligible for love and to love.
    it's time and the right person that should own your love or love to be earned from that person.
    don't feel bad about yourself.
    u r great.
    smart, polite, hardworking, got the looks and guts.
    trust yourself and face the world toughly.
    i believe in you.

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