Lord, show me the way

Lord, Show Me The Way

It has been a long and exhausting exile. On the way full of disguise, temptations, noises, doubts, fear, setback, all kinds of pre-occupations, are we able to select the right path to walk in the footsteps of God?

I was privileged to participate in the retreat which could not have come at a more opportune moment. Prior to the retreat, I had been asking for God to shed light on my life, my decision, if only He knew that I have a call to His priestly vocation. The agony and suspense of waiting; the seeming silence after prayers; and the agitation of having no direction disheartened me. I thought it would be a great time to ask the Lord for an assertive and instant answer to all my prayers. He didn't. Instead, He knew what I need at this stage of my life.

He makes me lie down in green pastures

He leads me beside still waters

He restores my soul

He leads me in right paths for His name's sake (Psalm 23:4-5)

I was unknowingly led by him to the side of fish pond. I looked into the pond at the fish. Nothing special at first glance. I sat down on the rock and took a closer look. The water in the pond was muddy, stagnant, contaminated, vague, brownish; fish are entrapped, ignorant - thinking that they have an ocean to their own.

Beside the fish pond there was a stream of water flowing freely. Crystal clear, smooth, rapid, pure, unattached, free and easy. It is Him who tries to show me the message that He wants me to understand.

I saw a clear division between the lives of the two different worlds. I have the freedom to choose. I had always failed Him. I couldn't resist anymore. I had nowhere to escape because He knows me. He who made me knows me entirely, my thoughts, speeches, actions.

"You shall be Holy, for Your Heavenly Father is Holy!" (1 Peter 1:16)

A thunder-like reminder struck my mind and my heart at once. I confess, I have always had struggles in attaining the virtue of chastity in my life. I had shades of darkness which I didn't want to be discovered by other people. I had peudo-shadow that had been haunting my heart from young age.

I will to live a clean life. I want a clean life free from the bondage of sins of the flesh. A clean life where detachment is so strong that nothing should own me. By this, allow me to recall and make some inspiring quotes from those great and holy men in the history:

"When you decide firmly to lead a clean life, chastity will not be a burden on you: it will be a crown of triumph". (St Josemaria Escriva)

"Purity prepares the soul for love, and love confirms the soul in purity." (John Henry Cardinal Newman)

What struck me indeed was not really on the message I received. I was more intrigued by the fact that God is real and living! As my Creator (Psalm 139) He knows me deeply, even if the struggles have never been revealed to anyone else (apart from the priests in the Sacrament of Reconciliation).

I give due appreciation to God our Father & Creator of the universe; I praise and worship almighty Lord Jesus in the form of Sacred Hosts in the Most Holy Sacrament of the Altar; I am grateful for the Holy Spirit who leads footsteps into the right path so that I would turn from crooked ways and never be astray.

After the encounter with the Lord at the fish pond, I went into prayers with the Scriptures. As I flipped the pages, a small piece of prayer card caught my attention. On the reverse it was clearly written, 

<And let anyone who is thirsty come to me, and let the one who believes in me drink. As the scripture has said, "out of the believer's heart shall flow rivers of living water. John 7:38>

And I silently prayed in my heart, "Lord, give me the living water for the salvation of my poor soul, so that I will never be thirsty again. Help me in times of temptations, grant me Your graces and strength to live through my life. May I always remember that "Blessed are the poor in hearts, for they shall see God". Amen."

Today, Simon, we believe God wants you to know that ...

YOU are the gardener of your soul.   

Plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of expecting someone else to leave you wilted flowers.

Today, Simon, we believe God wants you to know that ...

the more you are, the more you can be for others.

You cannot give to others what you do not have yourself. First, make yourself emotionally, physically, spiritually wealthy, and then freely give to others.

Today, Simon, we believe God wants you to know that ...

you are perfect as you are.

God doesn't create faulty life. No. Everything created by God is perfect, and so are you. So stop driving yourself mad with endless ways to improve, and just accept the glory of your being as is.

God knows

Today, Simon, we believe God wants you to know that ...

it is more than okay to live your joy.

Whatever makes your heart sing is what God wants for you! Of course it's okay to be happy! Of course it's okay to fulfill your heart's deepest desires! What your soul most dearly and deeply desires is the very thing God wants for you. 

You've Got Mail

On this day of your life, Simon, we believe God wants you to know ... that love won't run out. 

In moments when you feel like you have given and given until there is no more of yourself to give, remember that love won't run out. God has an infinite amount of love for you and for you to pass on to others. Even at times when the well seems dry, God can send a flood. Let the flood of love wash over you and then drench everyone around you. 

Idealess

The moment when you feel that your idea bank has gone vacated.

I was capable of saying vividly what I want, orally or in writing, before some time ago. But now I found that there is a deterioration in my speaking skills. So does my interpersonal skills. Life is filled with plenty of challenges. Bundled with obstacles and stiff competition. Or perhaps the environment does matter.

Imagine your hesitation is already up to your neck and you are further disrupted with excessive obligations and commitments from somewhat unavoidable circumstances and people. You must certainly be falling in depression and fatigue!

But life goes on without answering your cry nor making an attempt to wait for you to wipe out your tears. Each piece of tissue paper you disposed indicates one single finite step in your building of the kingdom of fruitful future. Knowledge strengthens your power and status. A fact remains a fact.

Bureaucracy and Structure kill innovation and plant boredom. Encouragement on new-thinking has long gone. Motivation disappeared. There left an emptiness which is inexplainable. That is how you feel after getting on for so far. A place like an oasis in the desert is vigorously sought.

At long last I have nothing to gain but victory. And I have everything to give. To glorify and praise my Lord. For not giving up on me when I did things wrong. For not abandoning me when I felt so hurt. For being with me existentially and apparently. For giving me guidance and walking with me on my way.

Life's a guess. We are at times idealess. Make free. Rely on and trust that everything will soon be fine.

The Impaired

During a service at the Church on a day of obligation, I witnessed a young man was standing in front of and showing sign language to a group of seated people. Then I quickly learnt that they are the group of deaf and mute. And all of a sudden I felt myself so blessed. Being able to sit in and listening to the God's words without any difficulties. Being able to see the world through the gifts that God confers. 

Have you ever wondered how your life would turn out to be if you were impaired? whether slightly, moderately or even totally destroyed. 

Life's a deep breath that you must hold and keep it warm. You are perfectly equipped, you are not handicapped. Most certainly you are loved. That is the mercy of God which He gives upon us. Be not afraid. The Lord is with you always, regardless if you are or not impaired. In moments like these, repent and turn a new leaf. 

Status

Status: When was the last time you did something for the first time? 

As time goes by we need to constantly upgrade ourselves so as to catch up with the changes around us. Changes could be in different terms. People and Context are two main issues that we need to address. Concerning what and how the changes could make us change is often an uneasy task. It takes time. We used to say or mesmerise ourselves that "Time Will Heal" but I just learnt that sometimes time won't heal. 

It is the mindset of a person to determine the length of the pain and bitterness. Your attitude and aptitude determine your altitude. How you see yourself is how far you measure your ability to go. Start doing something that your future self would thank you for it. Always believe and hold on to your faith. Stay out of comfort zone and do something for the first time. You might not be successful but you take opportunity to enhance your learning curve. You obtain experience and you grow. That is the subject matter. 

Message

that you are wonderfully made.

Look at the world around you, the infinite detail and creativity. Unimaginable beauty surrounds us every day. You are part of that creation, materializing from the same artist that created sunsets and rainbows. Don't ever allow yourself to think you are anything less than wonderful.

In the state of denial

Sometimes, people resist changes. There are many reasons behind this. One of them is the mere reluctance to adopt changes as the purpose of life. More often people prefer staying in comfort zone to seeing things getting unorganised in their eyes. But change is always constant. Technological advancement and cyber development brings changes to our lives. That is an undeniable fact. Change is always constant. Our minds, our thoughts, our decisions, our intension, our behaviours, our choices etc. Nothing in this world would be everlasting, except for the truth of Dharma teachings. There is always room for improvement. We have to unlearn in order to learn more precious matters. Things might be controlled or uncontrolled. Might be favourable or unfavourable. Might be pleasant or unpleasant. Might be encouraging or discouraging. All we need to do is to step out of the comfort zone. For better or worse. There must be lessons waiting for us. You will apparently have no chance to change if you don't see the need. And sooner or later you will be changed by changes. 

Don't be afraid of the uncertainties in life. Life is full of ups and downs which resemble the heartbeats. You wouldn't know when the beats are going to stop one day, all you need to do is to make your heart worths beating and live up your days. You have a role to play in this universe, even if you do not know it yet. Without you, this divine clockwork would not be the same. So look after yourself. Nourish and pamper yourself with tender loving care. There is a reason for your existence, that you are important! Never give up on your hope. Be persistent. Nobody easily succeeds at the first attempt. He who triumphs bears the fruits of victory. And you gotta sow before reap or to sustain the rain before seeing the rainbow. That is the simplest principle of life. Don't ask why not this and that. Prove it to yourself and others instead. 

Dream

I have a dream
A song to sing
To help me cope
With everything
If you see the wonder
Of a fairy tale
You can take the future
Even if we fail
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
I have a dream
I'll cross the stream

It has come to the moment that I proudly step in the United Kingdom as a post-colonisation commonwealth citizen. I used to dream that I could soar beyond the sky. The first place someone asked me which I wanted to visit the most, the answer would certainly be "Britain". I didn't know much knowledge of her historical trace-back. Neither in the world war nor Renaissance Era. I know William Shakespeare and The Beatles but not in depth. I heard of Queen Elizabeth, King George, King Henry but I couldn't truly immerse in the atmosphere, because I wasn't born at that time.

What makes it great is the memory left behind. People glorify the fame of the Kingdom. People uplift the name of the Kings and Queens. People are proud of being a British citizen. I am proud of the infrastructure Britain had given to us in my own country. She articulated a development vision for us to follow since our independence. I am extremely grateful that I could finally stand on the ground in the UK!! Brits' accents are so mesmerising. Brits are so charming. Brits are so lovely. Brits have the best of it and second to none.

Deeply in love with Union Jack. I just wonder would it be all that I will carry home in September? lol

And now I start to think that's where I belong. But dream would remain as dream. And may it be in dream.

 With Superlamb Banana

 Is contemplating

 Run Run A Raining Day

 Chinatown

 Me in campus

Me on Church St. 

Commitment

1. Work

Be yourself with good manner and friendly-fostering attitude. Be generous and sincere to build widespread network. Be courageous and bold to face any incoming problems. Even if you don't like the job you're doing, be passionate. Nothing could be done without perseverance. Once you're at the workplace, you are held accountable to your portfolio, personally. Commitment is much required because it completes your work. Work is never ending, do not hesitate to ask for assistance should you need any. Be polite while you meet people. Remember, first impression is genuinely important as it forms the perception towards a person at the first sight. Be committed to your work, either before, during and after.

2. Family

It's should be another agenda item on our list of commitment. Family is the one who supports you when you face difficulties, source of encouragement, seed of salvation, ship of sanctuary and thunder of unconditional love. Family might be flawed, but the love and bond would always remains no matter where the members go. We may not have all together but together we have it all. It should be a comfortable place where you can behave naturally, live without worries, complain without being infuriated. Time would heal everything. All parties underpinned for the foundation of love. With fortified base, we are the best warriors to conquer every tough time together, prepare for the worst and pray for the best.

Keep your faith!

When was the last time

Has been dwelling on work in PJ after CNY has passed. 

Life is good and well-led owing to the attitude. Sometimes it depends on the perspective we see things around. As such, optimists see life as opportunity whereas pessimists see life as difficulty. 

I'm not gonna teach you what you need to know. But I'd plead you to practice what you preach. 

When you really have interest in the matter, devote in your full commitment to achieve what you want. 

Make the process spectacular. You might not walk on proper path, but you would be amazed at the meeting of fruitful end of the road. When you don't know where to go or nowhere to go, any path will take you to. 

Life is a progress. Life is like riding your bicycle. You gotta keep going in order to keep it balanced. 

Momentum, Friction, Inertia and Velocity. Life's full of science. Life's full of Physics, Chemistry, Biology and much more elements. 

Life is made up of love and compassion, religion and faith, beats and rhythms. It is colourful if you enjoy enlarging the fine art of life's sense. It is endurable. It is bearable. It is manageable. It is unbreakable. It's awesome. Even if there's hindrance, even if people impede you, you gotta go above them and avoid letting them taking you down in plight. 

Repent. Replenish your cells of weapon with wisdom and compassion. Love makes the world go round. Time cherishes every single sharable moment to be indispensable. 

When was the last time you truly smile? When was the last time you innerly enlighten? When was the last time you repent and ask for savour from the Lord? When was the last time you genuinely talk your thought? When was the last time you align your mind and action? When was the last time you extend your hand of assistance and love to those needy? 

Make a change. We can all make a difference. 

CNY

Chinese New Year

Literally, it's a special festival and holiday for those being at different places to go home and reunite with their family members and all loved ones. There are a lot of Do's and Don't's during the festival. It is celebrated from the eve up to the fifteenth day of the duration. Each festival day carries different and unique meaning. *blabla*

Well.. Old granny stories. I could memorise these from the front to the back and from the last sentence back to the front. Personally the way I treat CNY is more of sustance over form. I make it a task to comprehend the inherent and coherent meanings of every single session and ritual. It is filled with mysterious festive colour blending with the attractiveness of the ethnic especially living in a multi-cultural country harmoniously.

Talking and Doing are two differentiated things. I go home as the time stipulated. I helped out in any way I can for my family. I painted the old colour-fading door. I captured every single precious moment with them. I pretended like I am a very good child. I took the initiative and greeted every relative with nice words just to avoid any further talk-behind regarding my manner. The way my parents raised me was different. They tell you what and when and who, but you gotta sort it out how by yourself.

It's already the sixth of Lunar. It nearly marks the end of my holiday and retreat because I gotta embark on my part time career life soon. But wait, I am not quite ready to be back to the hustling and bustling city life! Rescue me... Help...

*echo*

Greatness

First and foremost, I would like to thank all the parties whom had helped me making my oversea studies a success. Without your support and kind understanding, I might not be able to make up my mind to see things from a wider perspective.

I was so upset that I gave up the chance to make application. I took no action before the application was due. After some time I thought it is worthwhile to attend such summer programme. Because it is a rare opportunity for us to spread our wings to fly and learn. It is our show time. Most of all, I don't dare to give up any greatness to strive a little higher learning curve. It would totally be a different story and experience.

Life is good. When you're embraced by grace and inner peace, joy and felicity.

2012

Welcome to a brand new year! 

Prepared your new-year resolutions?

Ready... 

Get set... 

Go!

Disturbance

I know human are not perfect
I am learning my personality & trying to improve for better

Sometimes I might behave different from normal time
for reason(s)
Pressure - arises anywhere

I don't mind if you prolong the silent situation
but at least, let me know what's wrong with myself

You can't judge a person merely by reason of not in favour of his/her face
That's more than what you imagine
That's not necessarily what you can see with your bare eyes
That's more than you can achieve

Recall how we've gone through the ups and downs
the upheaval, the laughter, the sorrow, the jubilance

I need confrontation 

I think about it
because I care

Silence is Golden?

I do believe in teamwork
But what if any of them is not participative?
I don't know the next move
I care about about the marks and relationship

But someone tell me what can I do to make the person speak

Silence isn't always an useful way to communicate
How could we know what's on your mind if you don't talk your mind?
I don't mind an answer with mistakes or a sentence with broken language

We, as a team, need IDEAS
More and More IDEAS

Remember, Creativity brings Innovations
And that's what we're lacking.

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